December 19, 2010 12:56 a.m.

OOPS I forgot to say something about my 24th Birthday last month..

Well I had FOUR celebrations

the first one was celebrated a week before my birthday with my relative in line with the Pacquiao fight. I honestly didn't feel that it was my birthday coz' everyone's focus was on Pacquiao. I appreciate the gifts tho~ tees, tees, tees... oh look... another tee =) I thought it was funny that everyone got me a shirt.

my second one was my annual volleyball/dinner with Ben, Deanna, and my tandem X crew.
Everything seemed perfect, Stan gave me a ride to Harry Jerome where everyone's waiting to play. Derek, Denny and Ricky was there already and Deanna came after a few minutes. I was looking for Ben but I thought he's just running late so we started playing already. @8 something I checked my phone just to find out that Ben (whom I expecting the most) wont be able to go anymore coz' HE SAID he's sick which no one believed of course. I'm a little sure that he had some issues with his gf but whatever, I maybe wrong? I was just frustrated coz It felt unfair. That I'm always there everytime he wanted to talk about stuff concerning his life, and I didn't miss his birthday too. BOO him!! Up to now, I'm still upset.. so upset that I even tried to catch up on him which never happened coz hes a busy guy and when he planned to do something, he cancelled on me. =( oh well.. what can I do but to just be happy for him coz at least hes doing something and he's happy unlike me who has no life this month LOL. After volleyball we went to red robin for food where deanna brought her friends too, some I didnt even know who they were but they were there to celebrate my birthday too but mainly to eat I guess.. It felt really incomplete coz Ben wasn't there =( thanks to Deanna, Denny, Derek and Ricky... and Jufar..that day was fun in general =) and it was snowing like crazy too =)

My third celebration was with my VGVA friends... I expected a few close friends but four of those didnt make it (Cliff, Ced & Chris, and Ellery which had a valid reason.. he will go on my 4th celebration anyway so it was fine) Cliff missed my birthday coz he had a hockey game to watch but he gave me a pretty card that morning, Ced & Chris cancelled coz Ced wasn't feeling well (which i didn't wanna buy) and Elle has a valid personal reason that I know. Guess who came?
Sanjay of course =) he gave me a Card too =) then those who I only see on some sundays when I play @ VGVA- Pat N. and his bf Daniel, David, Bren, Colin, Patrick A. and the couple which I rarely see at all- Dylan and Megumi. Thanks to them my birthday dinner was still a Success, tho I was sad that Cliff Ced and Christian didn't make it.

My Fourth Birthday was a Potluck with my classmates and some ol' friends (Neil, Vladz, and Rafael). Elle came =) and Patrick A. was there again =) he's a sweet guy =) It was @ Cyrille's pad- one of my closest friend in school together with Roma, Fra, and Arianne. Sledge, Ate Maria, Cocoy and his bro, Cyrille's bro and bf was there too =) 3 of my classmates cancelled coz the other one was rushed in the hospital coz of high blood pressure, the other one couldnt go coz of an unbelievable reason that annoyed me I couldn't even write it here. and I didn't hear anything from Joyce that night but It was fine coz everyone was full coz there were tons of food =) the next morning @ school, Joyce said sorry and gave me a LOVELY coffee mug from starbucks. Edison didn't talk talk to me coz he's shy and he felt bad that he didn't make it.

In General, I had a blast =) im now 24 y.o.

still single =)

December 19, 2010 12:24 a.m.

6 days from now and it'll be my 3rd Christmas here in Canada, fun as it may sound but in reality it's not since I haven't accepted the fact that this is my new home. Maybe because this is not home? I've ranted about this in my previous posts some time ago and it still haunts me =( It's so easy to say to just go back to the Philippines but it's not that easy. I'm being selfless right now, as much as I want to become happy, I'm here to be a Nurse and help my Family who lives here with me. I have nothing to expect from my 18 yo brother since he's following a wrong direction in Life (getting F's in school to start and a bad attitude on top of that) and I don't want my parent's hardships for us to go to where he's going now. My two other siblings are still young and they still yet to become successful here.

What used to be my dream back in the Philippines? To be able to see and have fun with my FRIENDS anytime I want (which I could have done), To be a Registered Nurse (which I did), have someone special in my life (which I had), work full-time while slowly getting my Master's Degree, Become a Clinical Instructor, help my Family (If they would need my help like if they've stayed in the Philippines, or take care of my favorite Auntie as she's single and no one lives with her now that both of my grandparents are dead), buy a car, save for my dream house, invest in a food business, and live happily ever after....

But now that I'm here... honestly... all I wish is to meet someone who can share his life with me... that would make everything perfect since it'll be easy to get what I want and help whoever I want when I become a Nurse... I've met TONS of friends here already, I just haven't formed a close bond with anyone yet... reasons that I couldn't write in here (booooo) =)

I couldn't sleep at night lately because I always cry and think how happy my life could have been if I stayed in the Philippines. but I always ends up sucking it up because there's nothing else that I can do now but be patient, because the right time will come for everything.

This Christmas, I wish safety and good health for me, my family, and friends and loved ones. I would like to pray for my 18 yo brother, may he find the light that will guide him on the right path. I wish for peace of mind for myself to keep me focused and successful on my endeavors.

=)

***
School Update:

I got an A in one of my courses =) one more to go =) and the Hospital Clinician where I did my internship this semester really really liked me and she wanted me back probably for Preceptorship and for a Full time job when I get my RN =)