December 19, 2010 12:24 a.m.

6 days from now and it'll be my 3rd Christmas here in Canada, fun as it may sound but in reality it's not since I haven't accepted the fact that this is my new home. Maybe because this is not home? I've ranted about this in my previous posts some time ago and it still haunts me =( It's so easy to say to just go back to the Philippines but it's not that easy. I'm being selfless right now, as much as I want to become happy, I'm here to be a Nurse and help my Family who lives here with me. I have nothing to expect from my 18 yo brother since he's following a wrong direction in Life (getting F's in school to start and a bad attitude on top of that) and I don't want my parent's hardships for us to go to where he's going now. My two other siblings are still young and they still yet to become successful here.

What used to be my dream back in the Philippines? To be able to see and have fun with my FRIENDS anytime I want (which I could have done), To be a Registered Nurse (which I did), have someone special in my life (which I had), work full-time while slowly getting my Master's Degree, Become a Clinical Instructor, help my Family (If they would need my help like if they've stayed in the Philippines, or take care of my favorite Auntie as she's single and no one lives with her now that both of my grandparents are dead), buy a car, save for my dream house, invest in a food business, and live happily ever after....

But now that I'm here... honestly... all I wish is to meet someone who can share his life with me... that would make everything perfect since it'll be easy to get what I want and help whoever I want when I become a Nurse... I've met TONS of friends here already, I just haven't formed a close bond with anyone yet... reasons that I couldn't write in here (booooo) =)

I couldn't sleep at night lately because I always cry and think how happy my life could have been if I stayed in the Philippines. but I always ends up sucking it up because there's nothing else that I can do now but be patient, because the right time will come for everything.

This Christmas, I wish safety and good health for me, my family, and friends and loved ones. I would like to pray for my 18 yo brother, may he find the light that will guide him on the right path. I wish for peace of mind for myself to keep me focused and successful on my endeavors.

=)

***
School Update:

I got an A in one of my courses =) one more to go =) and the Hospital Clinician where I did my internship this semester really really liked me and she wanted me back probably for Preceptorship and for a Full time job when I get my RN =)