September 7, 2009

Today I decided to start a blog about my life here in Canada because I can't take the pressure building up inside me coming from my sense of responsibility as a brother to my siblings and as the eldest son to my parents. This outlet should at least ease the weight of my burden, hopefully.

My name is Karl. I will be 23 years old this coming November and it will be my second birthday here in Canada. I came here from the Philippines on January 23, 2008 with my father and three younger siblings. My mom has been here in Canada since 2002 and she got all of us here through the Live-in Caregiver Program of the Government of Canada. We all had a permanent resident status when we landed here as immigrants.

I am a Registered Nurse in the Philippines but at the moment, I am working as a call center representative for a bathtub company because my RN application here is still in process. At the moment, we are just renting a two-bedroom apartment because our combined income is not enough to pay for a house mortgage so basically, we are all waiting for me to become a Nurse so we can have a better way of living. And that is one reason why I am ranting about it because It is kind of unfair for me as it compromises my independence, like I just came here in Canada for them.

I know it sounds selfish but let me show you the big picture. Back in the Philippines when I had my Bachelor's, I was having a normal life. I had all my friends whom I consider as my family, job opportunities as a Nurse, and the best part is, I had a loving boyfriend. Yes, I am not straight and my parents are aware of it. I never had a boring day back there. If theres nothing to do, my friends were just one text away and we'll have something that will make the day complete like Volleyball (all of us are competitive players and our group has more than 20 "guys"), LAN computer games, Booz, Dinner, Karaoke, Road Trip, Coffee, Slumber nights, etc. or I can just cuddle with my boyfriend.

I already planned for my future after University. I had no plans of leaving the Philippines to be a Nurse abroad because I don't really care about riches. I'm sure that I wont be having kids or my own straight family anyway so I'm not worried about not having a high standard way of living. My planned future was just to have a stable job and be with the right person in our own house and have my own car, And we'll live happily ever after with my friends. And that is not a dream if you're a professional, educated gay in a third-world country- it is doable!

But things changed when we got a phone call from my mom saying that we will be moving to Canada with her. My family was happy and excited, but me. It was like a nightmare for me. I cried all day after I heard the big news. I didn't know what to do, I didn't wanna leave the Philippines. I had a choice to stay but I didn't do it because when I tried to talk to my mom and dad about it, they were already upset to hear me saying that I am happy in the Philippines. So my planned future changed, I left my friends and everyone were sad and crying. Specially my boyfriend, because the day of my flight was supposed to be our "1st year Anniversary". It was heart breaking.

Anyway, I will tell you more later on because I need to go now. My friend Ben (I just met him 3 weeks ago, he's chinese and cute but unfortunately he's straight lol.. were now good friends :D )asked me out for dinner with his friends so I'll ttyl!!!!