September 9, 2009 10:37 p.m. (09-09-09)

Today was a shitty day! IT RAINED ALL DAY! I woke up at exactly 10:00 am coz my alarm didnt work this morning and I only had 30 minutes before my shift started so guess what, I didnt take a shower and just went to work with a brushed teeth and a washed face! Nothing special happened while I was at work, just same old crap... calling clients to convince them to have our sales representatives inside their house to sell them a bath tub.

I was kinda wet when I came to work coz I had to ride my bike. If i walked, I would be in so much trouble coz' I cant afford to be late since I already had warnings about my attendance. Glad that Ben said goodmorning to me so it kinda made my day...

After work, I went home and took a shower then went to the recreation center which is just 2 blocks away from our apartment to play volleyball. It started at 8:00 p.m. til 10:00, and it was shitty too! It was not even recreational level, more like.... dumb. So I went home around 9:30 p.m. then I had a shitty dinner coz what I had for lunch was the same thing that I just had for dinner- porkchops :-( But I had no choice so I ate the poor old porkchop .

My mom was helping my sister with her homework while I was having dinner. Yesterday was the start of their school so everyone in our house were kinda busy. While eating, I asked my mom when are we gonna move to a house coz I cant wait to have my own room again (kind of... when can I move out?) and she answered me with "We'll move to a house as soon as you become a Nurse here so our Income will be stable enough to support our Bills" I almost choked after hearing what she said and asked her "Do you mean that we will not move to a house if I wont become a Nurse here?" she answered me with "Why? Dont you wanna be a Nurse here?" then I stopped asking questions coz I was in a bad mood already and I dont wanna upset my mom.

F!!! this LIFE!! WHY CANT I JUST... MOVE OUT.... BE A NURSE.... LIVE MY OWN LIFE???

I can.... but I can't..... Im a prisoner of my own sense of responsibility........
I am confused....

I dont want to think about it anymore coz I ran out of tears...... I think that's it for now... Im gonna take a good shower then chat with friends after....


*sighs